rantings of a single girl

I keep finding these random Glamour articles on MSN. While most of them make me laugh, this one really got me thinking. What does count as cheating? We have so many ways of communicating these days that sometimes cheating isn't always as black and white as we think.  So I'd like to see what my wonderful readers say about this little Glamour poll.  I've added my two cents (cause it's my blog!) and feel free to add yours!

1. Is it cheating if the relationship isn't official?
"When I was in college, I dated a guy for two years who said he wasn't comfortable with the 'boyfriend' label. Among friends, I called him my 'significant other,' but when I was with him, I just went with the flow and assumed we were exclusive. He was the first guy I slept with, the first I brought home to my parents, the one I spent every holiday and birthday with. Then he started fooling around with my best friend's roommate, and a month later they were a couple. I confronted him, and he said he didn't think we were officially 'together,' so it wasn't cheating. He also felt justified because she and I weren't close friends! Everybody knew but me — that's what hurt the most."

Survey says...
Yes: 75%
No: 25%

I'm with the crowd on this one.  Definitely cheating.

2. Is it cheating to go on a "pseudodate"?
"Once, I was seated next to a handsome stranger on a plane. He'd been bumped from first class, where he usually sat, which is why he was flying coach. Turned out he was a famous agent, owned a fabulous art collection, was smart and funny, and, to top it all off, he was single. (I'd been dating someone for five years.) When we landed, he asked for my number and called me at my hotel that very night, inviting me to a private party for one of my favorite actors. As we worked the room, I pictured the fabulous life I could have with him: I'd be rich and connected. I'd be taken care of, for once (my boyfriend is a musician). But in the end, I felt too guilty to continue the 'relationship,' and stopped returning his calls."

Survey says...
Yes: 45%
No: 55%

I honestly need more information on this one.  If she just went to the party of a cute, rich, single guy for the sake of going (curiosity of how the other half lives), then no harm.  If she went to the party of the cute, rich, single guy with the intention of something happening, then yes.

3. Is it cheating if you just sleep in the same bed?
"When I was a senior in college, I had a boyfriend of three years, but sometimes my friend Nate would come over and spend the night ... in my bed. We never hooked up or even really touched; we just talked and fell asleep next to each other. One parents' weekend, my dad caught us in bed together and asked me if I was going to tell my boyfriend about it. I said no, because I didn't think it was cheating."

Survey says...
Yes: 32%
No: 68%

But what if they cuddled?
Yes: 70%
No: 30%

While I don't think sleeping in the same bed with a member of the opposite sex without touching (etc) is cheating, I do think if you've been dating someone for three years then no one else should be in your bed but him/her.

4. Is a girl kissing another straight girl cheating?
"I'd been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half when I flew to L.A. to go to a girlfriend's bachelorette party. We got dressed up, rented a limo and went out to a bunch of bars. Along the way, we picked up a few guys, who later bought us tons of drinks. As we got more and more drunk, the girls got flirtier with each other, and the guys were egging us on. Before I knew it, I was lip-locked with a girl in the back of the limo — for a while! At the time I didn't think it was a big deal, but when I saw my boyfriend back in Chicago, I felt really bad. Even though he'd often joked that he found it hot when women made out with each other, I decided not to tell him about the wild night I'd had."

Survey says...
Yes: 37%
No: 63%

But what if she did it more than once?
Yes: 72%
No: 28%

So many guys today mention how hot it is for two women to kiss.  Add alcohol and people egging you on, it could happen.  I really don't think a dared or drunken kiss that is egged on by others is really worth telling your guy about.  Now if you want that kiss to happen again or it happens again, then you might need to talk to him.

5. Is it cheating to exchange steamy Facebook messages?
"Out with friends one night, I met a cute guy who was wearing a wedding ring. We hit it off, and eventually everyone left the bar except us — and that's when we admitted our attraction to each other. He said he'd been married less than a year. When we left the bar, I gave him a sad goodbye kiss on the mouth. Four days later he sent me a message on Facebook, and for a week, he sent me beautiful love messages. He said his feelings were too intense to ignore. I broke it off — I knew I couldn't survive it, emotionally. Then he sent me a CD full of the most stunning songs, which I listened to twice, crying. After that, I put it away and never made contact with him again!"

Survey says...
Yes: 80%
No: 20%

I say yes.  She knew he was married.  Even if he was unhappy, that is no excuse.  If they really wanted to be together that badly, they could have waited until he got a divorce.  (Unless is was an open marriage and all parties know the rules... that could be a different story.)

6. Is it cheating to have a 'work spouse'?
"There's a guy at work who's my best friend: We talk about everything from work to sex to the future. We go out to lunch, sit side by side in meetings and sometimes even work out together! We're attracted to each other and have joked about hooking up — and I think he actually would — but I've never given him the opportunity to cross that line. He's married with children! I do have a boyfriend, and he's everything to me, but he lives across the country and loves his job — so until he's ready to move East, I need someone I can bond with on a daily basis."

Survey says...
Yes: 27%
No: 73%

I really can't say yes or no here.  I've never been in a scenario to have a 'work spouse' since I work in a predominately female industry.  My gut is saying in this case it could be a maybe because they are attracted to each other and acknowledge that by talking about hooking up.  Anyone else have an opinion?

7. Is getting a private dance at a strip club cheating?
"My boyfriend and I have a great, honest and, in my humble opinion, physically satisfying relationship. Recently when he went to a bachelor party, I joked about him getting lap dances, and he said he wouldn't. It wasn't like I forbade him — he said he just wasn't into that stuff. When he got home, I made a crack about the lap dance and could tell by the look on his face that he'd had one. I was pretty devastated. He didn't understand why I was so angry, since it was 'normal' bachelor-party behavior. It wasn't that he got the lap dance (though it's not an image I've enjoyed having in my head); it's that he said he wouldn't — and did it anyway."

Survey says...
Yes: 16%
No: 84%

As far as cheating, I say no.  I could totally forgive my guy if he was at a bachelor party, drank too much, and had a little lap dance.  Especially if he 'fessed up.  Side note: I can understand her being upset over the fact that he got a lap dance after he said he wouldn't.  I would probably be a little upset myself.