Have you ever caught your spouse or significant other doing something that made you scratch your head or even make you debate why you married/are dating them? I once dated a guy who had to 'check out' his house every time we came back from dinner or where ever. He'd make me stand on the porch while he did a quick sweep of his house, then he'd let me come in. The first time, I just though maybe he had something he wanted to hide the porn mag he realized he left out, but it turned out to be every single time. It was like running a Covert Ops mission every time we went somewhere. He also wanted to 'sweep' my house, too! Needless to say, we didn't date very long.
So where did this come from? I ran across an article from the nest talking about strange spouse behaviors. It immediately made me think of Covert Ops guy. Covert Ops guy was pretty bad, but some of the examples in their article had me shaking my head.
- I caught him recreating the strip dance scene from The Full Monty in our bathroom. He actually wasn't too bad!
- My wife invented a language that she speaks only to animals. Every time we pass someone walking their dog on the street, she has to "communicate" with it in her weird tongue.
- I came out of the shower to find my wife standing in front of our full-length mirror in her '90s prom dress faking a Grammy acceptance speech. She even thanked her imaginary husband — Justin Timberlake.
- I caught him rocking out to Kelly Clarkson's "Since You've Been Gone" in the garage. I thought I was going to pull a stomach muscle laughing so hard.
- My husband ran into the bathroom furiously twirling his dress socks through the air and screaming, "I call this 'total combat!'" and then just walked out. It was the strangest thing I've ever seen.
- Sometimes he sits up in the middle of the night and starts mumbling gibberish with his eyes wide open. He literally looks psycho.
- When I go on business trips, she has the dog sleep on our bed (in one of my T-shirts) and piles up tons of pillows along all sides of the bed to make a fort "for protection."
I think my favorite in those is the sock-twirling-total-combat guy. I could actually imagine one of my exes doing that. So 'fess up. What is some crazy behavior your spouse, significant other, or ex displays?
I had an ex that was a chef - stressful job, right? In the middle of the night wile asleep, he would start speaking in kitchen terms and simulate different kitchen activities with his hands. He would point and order people around or pretend like he was chopping vegetables. Very freaky!
My fav one from above though is the guy rocking out to Kelly Clarkson.