rantings of a single girl

My 30 days of dating is over!!!  Let the clouds part and the angels begin their joyous strains of the 'Hallelujah Chorus'.  Let me lift my arms to the skies in praise!

Reality? It wasn't that bad.

Sure I had a lot of e-mails to wade through.  A lot of time exchanging emails with some guys who weren't so great and I wish I could have those minutes back.  On the other side, I exchanged emails with a lot of really nice guys, but in the end we decided not to meet.  That's okay.  That's how it's supposed to work.  Dating comes with the good, the bad, the attracted to, and the not-so attracted to.

I also got to spend time with Mr. Enigmatic.  While we didn't work out, he's a very nice guy who I do hope the best for.  I also hope we'll stay in touch.  He did text me this week to say that things still aren't better with his mom, but if we both had time sometime in the next few weeks he'd like to take me to dinner or have drinks. 

In this 30 days of dating, I also pushed my boundaries a little.  I let myself go over my acceptable age group, and I met The Rock.  Or McDreamy.  Whatever you want to call him.  I'm excited to see where things are going to go with him.  I'm not going to count my chickens before they hatch, but I am intrigued by what could happen.  Regardless of what happens with us, it is nice to know that sometimes if I bend my own rules, the results can be unexpected and exciting.

A quick update since I'm about to have to kick into power mode for the day.

- I have a date with Potential #1 tonight.  I am very much looking forward to it.

- I've been trying to plan a date with another guy from match.com for the past week.  So far we don't have anything concrete.  I'm starting to become annoyed... either plan the date or move on.

- If you've missed reading this week, Mr. Enigmatic and I are no longer seeing each other.  We parted on good terms though.

- I've never been so happy that it's Friday.  This has been a helluva week.

Hope everyone else has a good Friday and a good weekend.

PS - Did I mention I'm really, really excited about my date tonight?

Yesterday could not have been a more hellacious day.  I spent all day at work trying to put out fires.  Not literal fires, but people-acting-like-idiots fires.  I also have a major project due at the end of the week, but I am still waiting on other people to get me their information.  So I ran around yesterday begging people to please, please, please have it to me by Thursday morning.  I hate having to hound people, but I requested this information three weeks ago!  What happened to common courtesy in the workplace?  Some other stuff blew up at work yesterday, but I'm not going to get into it.  It'll only get my blood pressure up again.

After work, I went to my yoga class.  Then stopped for a pizza on the way home.  Yeah, way to blow my yoga session, but I really, really needed some comfort food yesterday.  I got home, settled into my comfy pj pants, curled up on the couch with my pizza and season six of NCIS.  I was a happy camper.  About 8:30, my phone rang.  It was Mr. Enigmatic.  He was in town all day for business and had just gotten out of a business dinner or he would have called me sooner.  He wanted to know if I could meet him for a drink or something so we could talk.  I agreed even though I was slightly annoyed by his request.  (I'm one of those people that once I'm in for the evening, I'm in.  Only certain things (emergencies, death, acts of God) or the right person (family, my best friends) can get me out of the house once I've changed into my comfy pj pants.  I guess I'm just homebody (or a witch) that way.)

Anyway, I changed into some jeans and pulled my now nasty, yoga-fied hair into a pony tail.  I met Mr. Enigmatic at a local restaurant that has a decent bar (good atmosphere plus privacy).  He thanked me for coming since he was pretty sure this was the only chance he'd get to see me this week.  We chit chatted for a few minutes then got down to the nitty gritty.  He said that he really liked me, but was afraid he wasn't going to be able to see me much.  I told him I completely understood.  I said that I had been thinking about his situation and had wondered if maybe he didn't need to focus on his mom instead of dating right now. 

He pondered that for a minute then changed the subject.  We chit chatted a little more then, with a very sad face, he finally said he knew I was right.  He just didn't want me to be.  He's to the point where he knows his mom is never going to get better, but he's afraid he'll never get a chance at his own life because of it.  He realizes that until they can get his mom's 'mood swings' under control, she's going to be the dominant factor in his life.  I told him he was a really good son and person.  I also told him that I'd like to be there for him as a friend.  That it might help to have someone to talk to who is kind of an outsider to his whole situation.  He said he'd like that.

So it was a friendly parting.  I don' t know if I'll ever hear from him again, but if I do that's okay, too.  I wish him happiness and that someday, he'll be able to live life on his terms.

I had my second date with Potential #1 this past Saturday.  We went to a lovely little restaurant.  We somehow scored a table in the back corner.  It was cozy and romantic.  We talked.  And talked.  And talked some more.  It was a wonder we were able to finish our meals because we were both running our mouths non-stop.  We also committed second date sins by talking about our past relationships, but it was only for 10 minutes.  I confessed I hadn't been in a longer term relationship for a while (okay a LONG while).  He confessed he was engaged for a few months until the girl pretty much broke his heart and stomped all over it while she was at it.  He said it took him years to trust women again.  (Yikes!)

After dinner, he asked me if I would like to go see a movie.  I said that I'd love to and wanted to know what he had in mind.  He said he'd like to see Up, the new Disney/Pixar movie.  I got so tickled at him saying he wanted to see Up.  It was almost like he was embarrassed that a 37 year old man still went to see Disney movies.  I told him I had been dying to see Up and am a self professed Disney freak.  Oh lord, I got that smile again.  You know, the one that makes me melt.

During the movie, he just reached over and held my hand.  Just like that.  None of that sly let-me-stretch-and-put-my-arm-around-you mess.  The movie started and next thing I know, our fingers are intertwined.  The hand holding was cute.  I'm always for a little bit of hand holding (yes, I'm one of those people).  But the matter-of-fact way he did it... sexy.

After the movie he took me back to my truck, which we had left at the restaurant.  We're going to see each other again this coming weekend.

Oh, and trust me, there are still sparks.  Major sparks.

I had a date scheduled for Friday night with Mr. Enigmatic.  He cancelled.  He was having some family issues.  We rescheduled for Sunday.  Sunday morning, he called saying he needed to cancel again.  We didn't reschedule because he didn't know when he'd be able to go out with me again.

I think I'll be okay if we don't reschedule.  Actually, I'm probably going to send him a 'thanks, but no thanks' email today or tomorrow.  (Scratch that last statement...)  I am probably going to try to see him in person one more time to explain how I feel about things... if we can get a chance to meet that is.  Now I know that sounds all witchy and bitchy, but hear me out.  I know I said I wasn't going to tell about his family life, but I am going to touch on it for a minute.  Long story short, his mom is in a home for mental issues.  He's the only one who is around to take care of her.  Here lately, she has been little hard to deal with.  The staff at the home call Mr. Enigmatic to calm her down every time she gets difficult.  Yet he can't take her out of the home because he can't trust her to be alone while he's at work.  Every time he's had to cancel a date with me, it's been because of his mom.

Now I totally understand the situation and have every sympathy for him.  I'm actually really glad that he makes the effort to take care of his mother.  He could have just thrown her in a home and left her.  The reason for my letter 'meh' attitude is because I think he needs to focus on his mom right now.  From what he told me, she has so much going on health wise right now that he pretty much balances his time between her and work.  That's completely honorable and as it should be.  I just don't think there is room for dating right now.  Yes, I know that's his choice, but I would rather he focus on his mother.  Family is important.  Trying to reschedule dates with me should come last on his list.

I had a date Wednesday night with Potential #1.  For now he's going to stay Potential #1 because I can't come up with anything better right now.  Maybe after another date, I'll have a nickname for him.

We met at the restaurant.  He arrived before me so I had to search to find him.  When he walked up to me, he didn't look like his profile picture.  He looked better than his profile picture.  (At least I think so.)  He was very much the Southern gentleman by opening doors for me and the like.  Very nice.  Not to mention the sparks.  It's been a long time since I felt sparks on a first date.

After we were about halfway into our meal, he set his fork down and said, "Let me just go ahead and say this.  I've been told I'm too forward by saying this on the first date, but I don't care.  I'm not looking to date for the sake of dating.  I'm ready to settle.  I'm 37 and to the point in my life I'm looking for the one to spend it with.  If you aren't looking for that, we'll just have a nice dinner and call it a day."

I couldn't speak for a few few seconds.  Which was a bad thing, because he read it the wrong way.  He said, "We'll just call it a nice dinner then."  I immediately recovered.  I told him I was just shocked because I've never had a guy be that up front with me on the first date.  That is was refreshing.  I told him I was on the same page as him.  You know, tired of the games and looking to date seriously, not just for the fun of it. 

Oh my, the smile he flashed my way made me melt.

So did the kiss at the end of the evening.

Excuse me while I go splash some cold water on my face.

Well it happened.  Potential #1 finally asked me out.  We're going out tomorrow night.  I have date #4 with Mr. Enigmatic (okay, I like that name better) on Friday night.  I am also now talking to 2 other guys (in addition to Potential #1) on match.com.  Secretly, it makes part me feel a little happy.  All sexy and desirable, but that's between you and me.  The other part of me can't breathe.

I'm looking forward to both dates, but I'm a little worried.  As I've mentioned before, I'm not really good at dating more than one person at a time.  Honestly, I'm scared I'll like both guys, things will go well, then I'll have to make a choice.  How is that fair to either guy?

Okay, okay.  I know I'm counting my chickens before they hatch.  For all I know Potential #1 could be a freak.  Mr. Enigmatic could turn out to be a jerk.  Yet these are things that run through my head in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.  I know I should just breathe and see what happens.  That's what I'm going to do.  After I have my mini-freak out.

I had my third date with Mr. Quiet this past Saturday.  He called me Saturday morning and woke me up (which is never a good thing).  He said that there had been a bit of an emergency and everything was okay, but he might have to cancel that night.  I told him I understood and to call me when he knew something for sure.  We did have to cancel and reschedule for Sunday.  (Which was fine with me because the restaurants are less crowded.) 

We met at the restaurant and had a lovely dinner.  He apologized about Saturday and having to cancel, but didn't go into detail.  I asked him if everyone was okay, he said they were but didn't take my bait.  I was starting to get a little frustrated and suspicious at that point.  After dinner, I suggested we go take a walk at the local park since it was such a nice night.  He agreed.

As we were walking around the lake, the worst thing happened.  I fell flat on my face.  I skinned my hands pretty good... enough that I was bleeding.  Mr. Quiet went running to the pavilion (where the restrooms are) to bring me back a wet paper towel and some dry ones.  He was really worried about me.  I was on the ground laughing and crying at the same time.  I was so embarrassed.  He helped me to a bench, sat down beside me, then helped me clean up my hands.  I finally had him laughing with me.  I said something to the effect of, "Well now that I've embarrassed myself in front of you..."  That was all it took.  He talked.

Apparently his family life is a problem area for him.  He's been worried this whole time that if I knew his story, I wouldn't want anything to do with him.  Right now, I'm not going to share his story with you because it's a very personal thing for him.  It took a lot for him to share it with me, and I'm not entirely sure it's my place to share it with you.  I will say this though... he's suffered a big loss in his family.  After hearing his story, I completely understand why he didn't want to talk about it.  I can also understand why he was concerned I wouldn't want anything to do with him if he told me.  It's a lot to take in, but like I told him, it didn't matter to me.  We all have stuff in our lives that is scary to share with someone else.

If I had known falling on my face is what it would take to get him to open up, I would have crashed two dates ago.  Seriously though, I'm glad I don't have to worry and wonder anymore.  I'm really looking forward to our next date and getting to know each other even more.  I think Mr. Quiet is turning into Mr. Potential.

So I officially started my '30 Days of Dating' on Sunday, May 17th. This means I'm officially on Day 12. So far, I've had a little luck. Well, maybe more than a little luck.

I've had two successful dates with Mr. Quiet (or Mr. Enigmatic as some of you are calling him). We've got another date planned for Saturday night. While I'm still a little apprehensive about his closed mouth tendencies, I'm still willing see what happens. At least for a few more dates. I think I owe us both that.

I'm also in communication with two other gents on match.com who could turn out to be potentials. One of them is 37, which is a little outside my acceptable age bracket (25-35), but I'm trying to see what happens there. He certainly seems to know who he is and what he wants. I've picked up on that in e-mail communication... and I have to admit that would be a refreshing change of pace. The second guy seems like every other guy I've dated, but I did say I would communicate with all my matches.

Here is my slight hesitation (and I should have thought about this before hand), I imagine Potential #1 will be asking me out soon. Which would be nice, but I'm not sure what to say. I'm not the type to do multiple dating. I just can't handle it.

So do I wait to see what happens with Mr. Quiet? I can't really see Potential #1 patiently waiting. "Oh, sorry. You're a nice guy, but I need to see what happens with the guy who got to me first. Do you mind waiting?" Yeah.... So do I just call off this 30 Day deal? See if I can juggle two or three guys at the same time? How is that fair to any of us? What if Potential #1 turns out to be Jerk #1 and then things are also blown with Mr. Quiet? Maybe wait until my 3rd date with Mr. Quiet this weekend? Oh boy... I've got some thinking to do. And some breathing.

I was in such a crappy mood yesterday, that I seriously thought about canceling my date for tonight.  That would ruin my 30 days of dating plan though.  Does it still count if I reschedule?  Either way, I am going to stick with the plan.  I am going to somehow improve my attitude today and go out on my date tonight.  I have a cute new outfit that I found this weekend.  I'm having a good hair day.  So two pluses on my side.  (I like looking good for my dates.)

Anyway, I met this guy on match.com and he seems nice so far in his communication.  His profile leaves me wondering though... he doesn't share much.  I'm hoping he is just one of those people who are bad at writing online dating profiles instead of being someone who doesn't like to share things about themselves.  If the latter is the case, then we're going to have problems.  Not to mention a very boring date.  I've got my fingers crossed though.  Maybe tonight will be a smashing success.