rantings of a single girl

I keep finding these random Glamour articles on MSN. While most of them make me laugh, this one really got me thinking. What does count as cheating? We have so many ways of communicating these days that sometimes cheating isn't always as black and white as we think.  So I'd like to see what my wonderful readers say about this little Glamour poll.  I've added my two cents (cause it's my blog!) and feel free to add yours!

1. Is it cheating if the relationship isn't official?
"When I was in college, I dated a guy for two years who said he wasn't comfortable with the 'boyfriend' label. Among friends, I called him my 'significant other,' but when I was with him, I just went with the flow and assumed we were exclusive. He was the first guy I slept with, the first I brought home to my parents, the one I spent every holiday and birthday with. Then he started fooling around with my best friend's roommate, and a month later they were a couple. I confronted him, and he said he didn't think we were officially 'together,' so it wasn't cheating. He also felt justified because she and I weren't close friends! Everybody knew but me — that's what hurt the most."

Survey says...
Yes: 75%
No: 25%

I'm with the crowd on this one.  Definitely cheating.

2. Is it cheating to go on a "pseudodate"?
"Once, I was seated next to a handsome stranger on a plane. He'd been bumped from first class, where he usually sat, which is why he was flying coach. Turned out he was a famous agent, owned a fabulous art collection, was smart and funny, and, to top it all off, he was single. (I'd been dating someone for five years.) When we landed, he asked for my number and called me at my hotel that very night, inviting me to a private party for one of my favorite actors. As we worked the room, I pictured the fabulous life I could have with him: I'd be rich and connected. I'd be taken care of, for once (my boyfriend is a musician). But in the end, I felt too guilty to continue the 'relationship,' and stopped returning his calls."

Survey says...
Yes: 45%
No: 55%

I honestly need more information on this one.  If she just went to the party of a cute, rich, single guy for the sake of going (curiosity of how the other half lives), then no harm.  If she went to the party of the cute, rich, single guy with the intention of something happening, then yes.

More cheating scenarios after the jump!

I came across a Glamour article yesterday called (you guessed it): 11 Things Men Don't Understand About Women.  So I thought I'd tackle the list and see if my fellow female readers and I can't clear up some of the confusion for you darling men.

1. Hair holders - “Why, oh, why, can’t you create a single, central location for your hair ties and bobby pins?!? And why is there one on the handle of the microwave?”
Personally I really, really try to keep them in one place, but they always some how end up everywhere.  Partly because I'll wear one on my wrist and just take it off where ever.  The other part is because my cat loves to play with them so they end up all over the house.

2. Waxing and other hair removing procedures - “Why are women so afraid of bugs but can regularly pour hot wax on their bodies and rip hair out by its roots?”
Because bugs are creepy and crawly and freak me the heck out.  Waxing, plucking, and everything else is just what we have to do.  Plus, you get desensitized to the pain after a while.

3. Drama - “Girls and drama! My God, it’s like an episode of Dawson’s Creek! He said, she said…it goes on and on for years. Do you ever get over an argument?”
The only thing I can say for this one is that women are emotion based while men are logic based.  As my fellow blogger Simone Grant said: "I might forgive you, but I'll never forget."

4. Hormones - “I am confused enough about why the onslaught of hormones every month, like clockwork, still takes me by surprise (the next day when she gets her period, I’m like, Oh! We got into a fight because she was hormonal!), but why does that fact take her by surprise? Shouldn’t she kind of realize it and be like, ‘Don’t listen to me—I’m hormonal’?”
I can't speak for other women, but I know when I'm hormonal.  I completely recognize that fact and give my significant other a warning not to mess with me.  If he's wise, he'll take ten steps back and ask me if he can get me a heating pad and a pound of chocolate.

5. Marriage - “I don’t get why getting married so soon is so important to most women. Is love not enough?”
My theory is that women just start to see their biological clocks ticking.  We also see our other friends getting married and having babies, so we have to catch up.  I think men start to worry about the whole marriage issue too, but it comes later in life than women.  (I think it has something to do with the whole women mature faster thing.)  Personally, I'm all for getting married, but I do want to wait until the right time.  I'm not in any rush. 

6. Shoes - “Why all the shoes? Really, my sister has suitcases full of shoes that I’ve thrown aside more often than she’s even seen them. It boggles the mind!”
Sorry.  I don't have an answer.  I hate shopping.  I have maybe 10 pairs of shoes and I think saying I have 10 pairs is on the high side.  I don't get having tons of pairs of shoes either.

7. Attitude - “I don’t understand their attitudes! Everything is good for, like, the first three months, but after that, it’s a whole different ball game!”
I think it's because after three months of dating we get comfortable with a guy and think we can start to change them.  When we don't get what we want, we start acting out.  Just my theory anyway.

8. Saying one thing, but meaning another- “I don’t get why girls say one thing and mean something different. Like when they say, ‘You can watch the game,’ and then when you do, you get in trouble.”
I think it's because we are always hoping you'll say, "Oh, never mind.  Let me help you with the dishes instead."  But it never happens so we get our panties in a twist over it.

9. Nice guy vs. bad guy - “What I don’t understand is why girls really, really, really want that nice guy, but once they find one, they can’t date him because now they need a jerk.”
I don't get this either.  Personally, I want a nice guy.  I've always wanted a nice guy.  Maybe some of the readers who tend to like a bad guy can answer this question.

10. Other women - “Why do girls not like other girls when they first meet them? It’s as if they have to prove themselves to each other before they’ll consider them acceptable to hang out with.”
Short answer: all women are different.  Long answer: I think it's because some women have stronger personalities than other.  Some women are always wondering what another woman is wanting from her (or to take from her).  For some reason, women are just generally distrusting of each other.  I think we are more territorial than men.  It's a complicated thing that no one will ever understand.

11. Communication - “I don’t understand why women can’t just speak more directly. They always want you to do something, but they don’t put it in words. Instead, they talk around the issue. I wish they were more up front and just said it!”
Men are from Mars.  Women are from Venus.  Emotion vs. logic.  We don't do it to piss you off.  I promise.  It's just how we communicate and how you translate what we say.  It works in reverse too.  Why do you think we are tell our girlfriends, "He just doesn't understand me!" or "I don't get what he's saying!"  The wires cross somewhere between men and women.  Yet good communication and patience in a relationship will generally help uncross the wires.

I ran across a Glamour article this week that had me rolling with laughter: The 10 Seduction Tools Every Woman Needs.  I consider most Glamour articles to be laughable anyway, but this one I just thought was worth sharing.  So ladies and gents, I give you the ten tips.

1. Enough money of your own to let him know you're not interested in his.
So I just run around showing my latest bank statement to guys on the first date?  Or maybe you're supposed to wear a sexy skirt made out of cash.

2. Flip-flops, stilettos and the sense to know which'll work best on him. 
Yeah, this'll get him going... if he has a foot fetish.

3. Dance moves that don't look like moves (but totally are).
Okay, confuses the heck out of me.  Are we talking bump and grind here?

4. An overgrown bikini wax and ratty undies - a virtual guarantee someone will undress you tonight.
Actually, this one probably has some truth to it.

5. A busy life full of friends, work, to-dos, ta-das and, oh yes, maybe, just maybe, time for a date sometime next week.
I'm all for a guy not being my entire life, but you've gotta make time for your guy too.

6. A birth control plan that heads off any post-seduction panic.
Okay, birth control is essental, but I don't really see it as a seduction tool.

7. Underwear too sexy to wear under anything.
Okay, yeah, this is a good tip too.

8. A dirty joke you can tell with confidence.
Someone may have to explain this to me.  I don't really see how telling a dirty joke will make a guy want to jump me.

9. Steady eye contact (a lost art).
Are we talking eye contact or a staring contest?

10. Knowing that your real body - no boob job, no butt implants, no Botox - is the best seduction tool of all.
Okay, this the one tip that actually makes sense.  I'll give Glamour props for this one.

I found this Glamour article/slideshow called "What Are Your Dating Dealbreakers?".  I find their list rather interesting. I agree some of these are deal breakers, but some of these are silly or deserve some flexibility.

1. He's shorter than you.
-I've dated taller, shorter, and same height.  Doesn't bother me.
2. He believes in a different religion.
-I can't say this is a deal breaker for me.  I tried dating an atheist once... that didn't work out well.  As long as he believes in something, I am okay.
3. He has chronic bad breath.
-Halitosis... yeah, that can get pretty annoying.  It could be a deal breaker if he denies he has halitosis or refuses to get something done about it.
4. Your family doesn't like him.
-My family's approval is a really big thing for me, but it isn't everything.  They would have to give me concrete and rational reasons aside from 'I just don't like him'.
5. His place resembles a frat house - a whole lot of dudes and a total mess.
-This is a potential deal breaker for me.  If we were still in college, yeah I could overlook it.  The guys I date are over 25 (most over 30).  It's way past time to get over the bachelor/frat days and  have a clean house even if you have a roommate.
6. He's much younger (think Demi and Ashton).
-I date guys older than me.  I very rarely date younger guys and if I do it is only a year or two.
7. He's much older (think Hef and Playmates).
-Ew. No.
8. He's a different race or ethnicity.
-Call me a racist bitch, but I'm not willing to date outside my race.
9. He has kids.
-I think I would be okay with this.  I've only dated one guy with a kid (and that turned out rather badly).
10. He makes less money than you.
-I don't care.  Question is could he be okay with me making more money?
11. He has a small penis.
-Not a deal breaker if he has learned how to properly use what God gave him.  If not, then I'm sorry, but yes.  It's a deal breaker.  I've dated Mr. Teeny who couldn't satisfy.  Not doing it again.
12. He has a tattoo.
-Doesn't bother me in the least.  Unless it's of a swastika or something.
13. He has opposing political views.
-If he's willing to acknowledge and listen to my side like I am his, then not an issue.  If he's going to be a jackass about it, then yes.  It's a deal breaker.
14. He still lives with his parents.
-Yes.  Very much a deal breaker.  (Unless his parents are ill and need their son to live at home.  Family is important.)
15. He's a workaholic.
-Never dated one so I can't say yes or no.
16. You've been dating a while, and he forgets your birthday.
-What is the definition of a while?  And is he normally forgetful?  Will he make it up in style a week later?  This has a lot of flex to it.
17. He smokes.
-Doesn't bother me since I am an ex-smoker.  But I would like him to quit for health reasons at some point.
18. He does drugs.
-Very much a deal breaker in every sense of the word.
19. He's divorced.
-This doesn't bother me, but at some point I would like to know why the marriage didn't work.  It could tell me a lot about a possible future for us.
20. He's very hairy.
-It's called waxing.
21. He lives more than 30 minutes away.
-A few years ago, this wouldn't have been a big deal.  The older I get, the more I would rather he live close... at least within 30-45 minutes.
22. He's bad in bed.
-Is he willing to work on it?  If not, then yes.  It's a deal breaker.
23. He's a mama's boy.
-I dated one of these.  There is being close to your mom and being a mama's boy.  Being a mama's boy is a deal breaker.
24. He spends more time getting ready than you do.
-Deal breaker.  Along with hair longer than mine and boobs bigger than mine.
25. He cheated on you and swears it will never happen again.
-This is such a gray area.  If it is just us and we aren't married, it probably would be.
26. He wanted to go to college but didn't.
-Doesn't matter to me.  Many great people never went to college.

Alright ladies give me your opinions.  Gents too.  A lot of these can go either way, minus the obvious.